You’ve tried crunching baseball stats. You’ve mentally replayed your last round of golf. You’ve outlined the steps to making your favorite sandwich. But the more you try to slow yourself down during sex, the faster you finish—and you’re not alone.
Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life.
There are primarily two methods of dealing with your speed issues: physical and psychological treatments. While physical remedies target the sensations you feel during sex, psychological solutions address your worry, stress, or other mental factors that may explain your quick trigger.
Experts break down a few of the most helpful techniques for dealing with premature ejaculation (PE). But be warned: Try these out on your own before attempting them during sex.
In general terms, this refers to the idea that you can regulate your own neurophysiology—or the way your body responds to physical sensations. While there are a lot of different types of biofeedback, he says one of the most common for treating PE is to bring yourself right to the edge of orgasm before stopping all sexual or masturbatory activity until you have your excitement under control. This is also known as “edging“. Practicing this technique can help you teach your brain and body to better control your orgasm response. Just be sure to use a lot of lotion or lube while you practice edging to avoid chaffing yourself.
If you can feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra—the tube running along the underside of the penis. The squeeze technique pushes blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension, which represses the ejaculatory response. This is another type of biofeedback, similar to edging.
When you help her finish first, whether with your mouth, your fingers, or a toy, knowing she’s enjoyed an orgasm may relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling.
Like the stuff dentists slather on your gums before jamming in the needle, there are topical sprays called “local anesthetics” that you can apply to your penis to lessen the sensation and keep control. When used properly, you can adjust the amount of desensitization with these sprays, and it won’t transfer to your partner. But be warned: The lack of sensation could make it difficult for you to stay erect.
Plenty of men pop a pill to become erect. And in Europe, there are also legal drugs that can help you last longer in bed. The problem: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved those drugs to treat PE in the U.S. Why? Even though trials show these drugs genuinely benefitted men with premature ejaculation, the FDA sets a very high bar for drugs used to treat non-life threatening conditions.